Harry's Life in Little Words
by Lela951
Summary: SongFic! Harry’s abuse at the Dursley’s leads him to contemplate about his life. I'll Try by Jonatha Brooke child abuse, angts etc… To get song go to my profile!


**Disclamer: I dont own Harry Potter or the song I'll Try**

**Title: Harry's Life in Little Words**

**Rating: M for Mature**

**Warning: child abuse, violence, angts, almost rape. It might be sappy at the end lol I was really sleepy by the time I finished the story.**

**Description: Harry's abuse at the Dursley's leads him to contemplate about his life. **

**I'll Try (I change a few words in the song to sue my purpose) by Jonatha Brooke**

**No Slash! SongFic ! child abuse, angts etc…**

**Key:**

**_(ttt)_**: Song Lyrics

'ttt': Harry's thoughts

"ttt": everyone talking

**Harry's Life in Little Words**

_**I am not a child now.**_

Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs as Harry woke up. Life had not always been easy on him. He still remembered how things use to be. How he had wished for someone to come and take him away forever. But it had never happen.

_**I can take care of myself.**_

He was finally turning 17 in a few days and then he was free. Free from the pain, the suffering, the abuse, the endless chores, the lies they told, their hate. He was finally leaving for good and it had not been because of someone saving him or because someone had cared enough to see how he had been really treated when young, it was because he was going to be an adult.

_**I mustn't let them down now-**_

He was 6. Harry could not understand. They told him he was a bad boy and didn't deserve to live. 'Why didn't they love him', 'What had he done wrong?' He had always try his hardest in school but never gotten acknowledge. In stead they had told him he was only a show off. He had even brought Aunt Petunia a picture from school that he had made with all his love trying to get her to love him back. In the end his Aunt had laughed at his childish picture calling him a 'stupid child'. After that he never drew another picture again…

_**Mustn't let them see me cry.**_

He was an 8 year old, yearning to be treated normally during Christmas but ... his only present? a very nice beating. He tried to hold back his tears and screams but he could not. His limits had been tested and broken. And there he lied not understanding their hate, as tears ran down his black and blue cheek. He tried to tell him self that everything would get better some day. Even if his family didn't love him someone would take him away from this dark cupboard. His mantra repeating over and over in his head 'I'm fine'…

_**I'm fine.**_

**_I'm fine_**.

**_I'm too tired to listen._**

_**I'm too old to believe:**_

_**All these childish stories**_

A man, as big as a house, was telling him that Magic was real. That he, a small "useless" boy that was worth nothing according to his Aunt, was a wizard. That his parent had been murdered, not killed in a silly car accident. That…that he could leave his family and go to a school for kids like him. He was finally leaving that retched house! But it could not be true. So long, so long wanting to escape his painful life had left a scar…well actually quite a few scars…

_**There is no such thing as faith,**_

_**And trust,**_

_**And pixie dust.**_

They told him that he had to return home for the summer. How could he have fooled himself into believing that he was finally leaving his cupboard behind? How could he have believed that his savior had finally come save him from the abuse, in the form of a school? In the end all he had gotten out of the whole experience was an enemy with an obsessive thirst to kill him. In a way he was regretting that he had put too much faith in these people that he barely knew, that he had trusted them to keep him safe. In the end he was still alone …in a way more than he had ever been before.

_**I try,**_

**_But it's so hard to believe._**

_**I try,**_

_**But I can't see what you see.**_

_**I try.**_

_**I try.**_

_**I try.**_

_**My whole world is changing,**_

He was lost! After attending this school for the past 4 years, who would have though that 'the boy who lived' was that spacey. He was supposed to know his way around this place by now even better than most students considering the map he had. He kept walking down the dark corridor and for some reason it just kept getting darker and darker until he stumbled. He tried to straiten his leg but was not fast enough and ended twisting his ankle while he fell down a few steps he had not seen. Why did these kinds of things only happen to him? There he was, god knows where, lying on the ground after a ridiculous fall. 'Sheesh, I could have used my wand to give light to the place'. Was there something really wrong with him? Had everything his aunt and uncle ingrain into his brain been true? His chest constricted and tears misted his eyes. Damn! He was not a little kid anymore why was he crying. It could have been because he felt for the first time in a long time lonely.

_**I don't know where to turn.**_

Several hours had gone by and he had yet to see anyone come to where he was. Not that he was looking hard for a sign of a living person. This place for some reason reminded him of his cupboard at home. The though only brought bad memories to his mind. Then he felt it. A hand had been laid on his forehead. He pretended to be unconscious so that the person did not ask him questions. "Potter, when are you going to learn not to wander around places you should not be in?" Snape! Of all the people that could have found him it had to be the grease git. But then he felt something he had not expected. The man was picking him up and cradling him against his chest. "Silly child you probably didn't even use your wand to see where you were going." Why was he been so nice? It hurt to have him be so nice when Harry knew for a fact that the man hated him. Thought he didn't notice it himself a few tears escaped his eyes and he felt a hand brushing his tears away. "Its okay Harry, even though I can't be nice to you yet, because of my position, I hope you know that you can turn to me if you need anything." And so the man took him to the hospital wing and Harry learn to view his Professor in a different way almost like someone he could confide in.

_**I can't leave you waiting,**_

**_But I can't stay and watch the city burn;_**

_**Watch it burn.**_

Why! Why did life have to be so unfair? He had lost many people already and now here he was seeing as Voldemort killed Albus Dumbledore in cold blood. He had to stop the mad man before the castle went up in flames. For some reason all the pent up anger he had over the things that had happened in the last six years, not even counting before he came to the magical world, started to form a bean of light around him. It felt like his skin was melting off but at the same time like he could finally killed the bastard that had ruin his life. With an explosion his world went black while the man standing a few feet away was obliterated.

_**Cause I try, but it's so hard to believe**_

_**I try, but I can't see what you see**_

_**I try, I try**_

He had done it! Voldemort was dead. For some reason that only brought a fleeting joy to his heart. Now what…? Now that no one needed him what would he do? Headmistress McGonagall had already told him that she would had let him stay at Hogwarts had it not been for the board of governors wanting the school remodel and fixed for the next year. Here he was only 16 and trying his best not to let his lost hopes show in his face as he realize that once again, he had to go to that house. The one that ripped him apart every summer he had to return there. Putting a brave front, that did not fool a pair of black obstinate eyes, he said that he appreciated her effort but not to worry.

_**I try and try to understand**_

_**The distance in between**_

'Just a few more days. Just a few more days. Just a few more days'. His uncle had caught him by surprise and given him the beating of a life time. Everything was hurting him. Even breathing was a hassle. He had being beaten so violently and only because he had forgotten to take out the trash the night before. The man was still in top of him delivering every kind of cruelness that he could imagine. 'I can't take this for long' and then he felt Vermont trail his hand over his pant "NOOOOOOO!" He could not believe it, what the fuck was Vermont thinking! He could feel the puggy hands grabbing at his privates very hard. He started to struggle to the best of his ability until he heard the banging of a door.

_**The love I feel,**_

There Professor Snape; standing in the door way of Harry's home like he had come to get his favorite nephew and had found him being shredded apart by an enormously fat man.

**_The things I fear,_**

Vermont's eyes flashed with madness, moving his hands away from Harry he got up and remarked. "WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CO…?" He was punched across the face and knocked out by the enraged Professor who then decided to hex him a few times.

**_And every single dream._**

He had been saved. He had been saved from the grosses violation that a human can perpetrate to another human being. He had been saved by a man who had only shown him kindness in secrecy. The relief he felt was so profound that he burst into tears when the said man came to his side and brushed his hair away from his bloody face. "please don't leave me here... ple..ase.." he whispered through his sore throat. He knew it was pointless to ask but he had to, to be able to reassure himself that this was real. "Never again, Harry" It was then and only then that Harry smiled a sincere smile for the first time in six years and passed out.

_**I can finally see it.**_

_**Now I have to believe:**_

**_All those precious stories_**

_**All the world is made of faith,**_

_**And trust,**_

_**And pixie dust.**_

He finally had some one he could trust and called …father. Severus had brought him into his home over a year ago and taken care of him until he could finally be himself. The man who had once tormented Hogward hallways had helped him overcome the terror of what had almost happen that day and realize that his relatives were wrong for what they had done to him for so many years.

_**So I'll try,**_

_**'Cause I finally believe!**_

Happiness was something that Harry had learned through the care that Severus provided to him. Though the older man had taken him in at such and old age, Harry's psyche had been that of a 15 year old after so many years of abuse. He finally believed that he was worth loving, that he had been more than just a weapon for the war, that he had been lying to him self for many years about how his only purpose in life was to destroy a mad man.

_**I'll try,**_

**_'Cause I can see where you see!_**

With years of love and friendships renew Harry settle down with his special someone and had children that called Severus Grandfather since to Harry he was his father.

_**I'll try.**_

_**I'll try!**_

**_I will try!_**

_**I'll try-**_

Harry lived happily ever after.

_**To fly.**_

A/N: SongFic! After a year of inactivity I'm finally ready to dedicate some time to my fics. Sorry it took me so long to come back but you know how it is with college, work and everything I really find it hard to update often. I will try my hardest to get the next chapter of every story I'm writing out. I've already started each chapter though I haven't had time to finish them.

P.S. There's a chronological order to the story it should be obvious:

Harry's age

17

6

8

11

14

16

17

18 and on


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